When sustaining a business is like sustaining an intimate connection

When sustaining a business is like sustaining an intimate connection

sexuality, sustaining intimate connections, commitment

Doing the numbers here for October. My income is pretty low this month. That kinda sucks–the words I scribbled in today’s journal. And the words that led me to this article, a bit of a rambling mixed with advice.

But, on the positive side—giving reinforcement and seeing the ‘up’ side is helpful—my business output was good overall. I made some connections. I pitched Playboy magazine and reached out to existing clients–even if they weren’t currrently asking for articles from me. I submitted a couple of proposals and I gave a presentation on dating for seniors.

All in all it was a good month–it depends on which aspect of things I choose to look at. I could focus on dollars earned, but that would be to focus on the wrong thing. If one is paying attention to the bigger picture.

Sex is sorta like this too. We could focus on a more youth-like obsession like, “How many times did I score this month?” or “how many orgasms did I have?” but that misses the point.

Let’s talk about the behind-the-scenes work of building and sustaining intimate connections. Because that’s where one builds the foundation, not unlike my checking in with editors, of satisfying relationship moments for the future. It’s short-sighted to rush for a quick score if you don’t pay attention to the other stuff.

Say you’re not having partner sex right now. Don’t close up shop–engage in some self-pleasuring. Reach out to your partner(s) and make other sorts of contact. Stoke the fire. Keep talking. Keep touching. Keep thinking and building connection.

No partner? Take care of your own needs. Do a little educational reading, think about what you want in relationships. Go for a walk, invite a friend for a drink. Don’t mope about or get all sour and bitter. Resistance and disappointment aren’t going to help put you in the ideal place to attract a partner, or feel good about yourself.

I use a bullet journal (sharing just for fun) as my calendar where I list tasks for the day, as well as things I want to accomplish in a week. Plus the odd doodle or scribble. My tasks include a mix of education in my craft (pick one…writing or sex!) and actual paid work. And, like every person in business for herself there is the practical work that has to be done to sustain my business…my relationships.

The two parts are inextricably connected. [Tweet “We have to nurture our intimate relationships, ourselves and the connection.”] We can see the results in our intimate relationships–I know that to be true.

What do you need to do right now, to help strengthen your intimate connections? Remember that self-awareness and self-love is essential.

ps: Playboy said no thanks, but at least their sex editor replied and took a look at my links. 

Image from Carli Jean at Unsplash.


  • mithraballesteros
    Posted at 09:29h, 30 October Reply

    You are a wise woman. Many thanks for great advice.

    • Walker
      Posted at 09:27h, 31 October Reply

      Thank you. I try!

  • Brenda Lee
    Posted at 12:18h, 30 October Reply

    Fabulous and inspiring post! I’m all for taking care of business if your partner isn’t willing however, something has to give, right? Can we force our partners or is that like “rape”? The older we get, the more I wonder about my spouse. I’m still like a 20 year old and he’s more like 80! 😉

    • Walker
      Posted at 09:29h, 31 October Reply

      Brenda, I don’t think that force is ever a good idea. And, yeah–force is equal to non-consensual which equals rape. I have written lots about what to do to get in the mood–but probably not so much for men. Topic to consider! Thank you for reading, and for sharing.

  • Carolann
    Posted at 09:52h, 31 October Reply

    Great topic! I agree. If your partner just isn’t into it then by all means, please yourself!

    • Walker
      Posted at 09:55h, 31 October Reply

      Absolutely. And, self-pleasuring is a nice way to build arousal when we’re in relationships as well!

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