Satisfy: to satisfy oneself, to be satisfied, to find satisfaction

Are you satisfied?

Satisfy: to satisfy oneself, to be satisfied, to find satisfaction

I gave up resolutions several years ago in favor of choosing a word to guide my way through the  coming year—not always successfully.  If I chose a word for 2021 I can’t recall it. And that’s OK. But I am very clear on what word I need for 2022. Satisfy.

This is biggie for me, as a life long people-pleaser. It’s time to shift gears, and I attribute that awareness in part to an Instagram page I follow, @alex_elle.  She wrote, “You cannot keep abandoning yourself for the comfort of others and expect to walk in alignment with your purpose….”

I felt a momentary jolt as I recognized myself: the me who used to feel that I had to work to make others happy if I wanted to be loved. The me that said Yes, when I should have said No. Mostly that’s all gone but I do have a tendency to try and make others comfortable, often ignoring my own discomfort in the process. Not asking for what I want. Not thinking that what I want is equally important to what they want. Staying in unsatisfying relationships too long.

This coming year will be all about me exploring what satisfy means to me: to satisfy, satisfying, to be satisfied. It will be a mix of boundary work and self-love and aging unapologetically.  My intention is to dig into the word and how it shows up, and write about it weekly in my journal.

It’s enough right now for me to realize that I would like to lead a more satisfying existence. To let go of that decades old tendency to silence my own voice for men— that’s where I’m most likely to deny myself.

Just recently I caught myself, saying yes, and being available, when I really needed to say No. Or demand more respect. I was allowing myself to be satisfied with too little, playing small and not enough. Doubting my worth and fretting about what I could change. Thinking I should feel grateful for one man’s attention. 

I needed a readjustment-a reminder that I get to set my own terms. I get to pursue what makes me feel appreciated and satisfied. Are you thinking that’s selfish? If we don’t stand up for ourselves, and talk about what we want, and set boundaries when our words and thoughts aren’t honored, where will we end up? Unhappy. Discontented. 

There is room for compromise here, but if you’re one of those women who recognizes herself in my words then it’s important to look at what you desire. What will make you satisfied. And talk about it, be open to some give and take but, remember that ultimately you get to decide what you want and how you show up ….

I’d love to support you in looking at how you create satisfying moments in your life. Let’s think on it.

  • Joan Stommen
    Posted at 08:31h, 11 February Reply

    Love this Walker….spot on for myself as well!
    That guy….that same guy I talked about in Vegas…..he comes and goes over the years and I say ebb and flow is fine …but it’s not!! I’ve learned more, grown up more, speak up more …. and right now it’s very satisfying to let him go and flirt away with others! Same with taking charge of my life again after pandemic had my kids managing me because of the word elderly! I’m back in my hometown happy place and finding new ways to be engaged and involved! Thanks for your reassuring words!

    • Walker Thornton
      Posted at 13:08h, 11 February Reply

      oh thank you. And I’m thrilled that you’re taking charge!!

  • Sue Norton
    Posted at 10:12h, 11 February Reply

    Absolutely spot on. I am ready to focus on my satisfaction. I have to start over many times. I try and catch myself in the pattern of pleasing others but it’s a hard habit to break.. Thank you for reminding me.

    • Walker Thornton
      Posted at 13:09h, 11 February Reply

      It is a hard habit, I absolutely agree, but I think that catching yourself is the perfect first step!

  • John Hayden
    Posted at 11:22h, 16 February Reply

    Hi Walker, it’s been years since I’ve commented or emailed you. I wish you luck in your quest for satisfaction in 2022. It’s hard for me to imagine that you haven’t been demanding, or at least seeking, your own satisfaction for a long time now. I have always thought of you as a strong woman. But of course just because we’ve been seeking something doesn’t mean that we’ve found it or achieved it. I know that’s the case for me. Doesn’t seem to get any easier with age or experience. John

    • Walker Thornton
      Posted at 15:23h, 16 February Reply

      Hi John, you’re right it has been a long time. Yes, I’ve certainly had satisfying moments and plenty of them but that doesn’t negate the fact that in some areas of life I fail to prioritize my own needs. We accomplish certain things and find rewarding ventures and it’s possible, as you note, to continue striving for better. I hope you find your way as you continue to age–I understand when you said that it doesn’t necessarily get easier. Walker

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