07 Jan Satisfy: to satisfy oneself, to be satisfied, to find satisfaction
I gave up resolutions several years ago in favor of choosing a word to guide my way through the coming year—not always successfully. If I chose a word for 2021 I can’t recall it. And that’s OK. But I am very clear on what word I need for 2022. Satisfy.
This is biggie for me, as a life long people-pleaser. It’s time to shift gears, and I attribute that awareness in part to an Instagram page I follow, @alex_elle. She wrote, “You cannot keep abandoning yourself for the comfort of others and expect to walk in alignment with your purpose….”
I felt a momentary jolt as I recognized myself: the me who used to feel that I had to work to make others happy if I wanted to be loved. The me that said Yes, when I should have said No. Mostly that’s all gone but I do have a tendency to try and make others comfortable, often ignoring my own discomfort in the process. Not asking for what I want. Not thinking that what I want is equally important to what they want. Staying in unsatisfying relationships too long.
This coming year will be all about me exploring what satisfy means to me: to satisfy, satisfying, to be satisfied. It will be a mix of boundary work and self-love and aging unapologetically. My intention is to dig into the word and how it shows up, and write about it weekly in my journal.
It’s enough right now for me to realize that I would like to lead a more satisfying existence. To let go of that decades old tendency to silence my own voice for men— that’s where I’m most likely to deny myself.
Just recently I caught myself, saying yes, and being available, when I really needed to say No. Or demand more respect. I was allowing myself to be satisfied with too little, playing small and not enough. Doubting my worth and fretting about what I could change. Thinking I should feel grateful for one man’s attention.
I needed a readjustment-a reminder that I get to set my own terms. I get to pursue what makes me feel appreciated and satisfied. Are you thinking that’s selfish? If we don’t stand up for ourselves, and talk about what we want, and set boundaries when our words and thoughts aren’t honored, where will we end up? Unhappy. Discontented.
There is room for compromise here, but if you’re one of those women who recognizes herself in my words then it’s important to look at what you desire. What will make you satisfied. And talk about it, be open to some give and take but, remember that ultimately you get to decide what you want and how you show up ….
I’d love to support you in looking at how you create satisfying moments in your life. Let’s think on it.