17 Jan Living a purposeful life
If I’m being completely honest with myself, I’ve become less focused and more disorganized since leaving the ‘real’ work world–some 9 years ago. Easily distracted, with a dozen thoughts running through my head at any given time and multiple tabs open on my browser (eleven at this moment) I could stand to be a bit more disciplined. So, in looking at how I want to be guided this year I choose the word purposeful. My desire is to live a purposeful life, from here on out.
In 2019 I will turn 65. It’s a perfect time to be more purposeful, because I’m brimming with energy and desire and options. One of the ways I can make sure I’m making choices based on what I really want, as a former people pleaser, is to ask this question every day,
“What do I desire right now?”
I want to be driven by my desires. By that I mean that I want to stop worrying about the opinion of others, or trying to be pleasant, or making myself small. I want pleasure and choices and strong connections, I want to travel. I want to work with women who are also ready to change up their lives. And I want to continue to explore my capacity for desire and delight and romance (of course!). And it’s all absolutely do-able as long as I stay present and make purposeful choices.
And this is what I want you to believe about your own life. Every one of those wishes is just as achieve-able at age 64 as it was when we were 34, or 54.
On my 64th birthday I started making some decisions; one of those was to resign from my job as primary caregiver for my mother. I gave a year’s notice to my four siblings. In the coming months, my mother will move to be closer to two of her sons and grandchildren; she’s excited and so am I. Advocating for myself, giving priority to my needs was huge for me. The last year and a half of caregiving derailed many of my plans and brought about significant emotional challenges. I needed to claim my time more than ever before.
Women get to be more self-focused in claiming their time, examining their desires, and taking steps to create the life they want to live. I know it’s hard to do. And we can do it.
Most of us have the privilege of choosing: our attitude, the foods we consume, the people we hang out with, and the decisions we make. We can choose to embrace our aging self or we can just sit back and wait out our remaining days.
I don’t recall any other time in my life when I felt more aware of the possibilities of what I could create in my life. And it excites the hell out of me. More work, more connections, more intimate moments to create and enjoy, countries to see, adventures to live, people to love, and stories to tell.
I have more to do. Don’t you?