The Pleasure Plan 2014

The Pleasure Plan 2014

At the beginning of the year, I wrote about my Pleasure Plan for 2014. I want to share the full article with you and encourage you to think about creating intentional pleasure in your life–sexual or not. It’s also a good reminder for me to take note of how I’m doing!

Planning for a Year of Pleasure

Are you in planning mode? It is the time of year when we begin to think ahead with goals and hopes for something different. Have you thought about making a plan to increase your pleasure?

Last week I wrote about risks I took in 2013.

I reread the article and realized I had omitted one of the riskiest things I did this year. It was a brazen beginning to a journey I’ll be taking for quite a while. I wrote about it on my website,   I went to a Back to the Body Retreat run by Pamela Madsen, Will Fredericks and Ron Stewart. Five days of total immersion in the body—appreciating, learning and experiencing ourselves as women.

One of the conversations we had with the facilitators was about creating pleasure in our lives. We were asked to go home and create a pleasure plan for the upcoming year. It’s a fabulous idea and I want you to consider creating your 2014 plan for pleasure too.

Mine will be a mix of pleasures of the flesh and sensual experiences.  We can call pleasures of the flesh sensual, but for now I want to differentiate the two.

There are a couple of ways to approach this. You might make a list, use a calendar, or get playful and combine collage with notebook to create an array of things that will bring you pleasure over the next year. Documenting your journey could be fun.

There is only one rule:

This is about YOUR pleasure.

These are some things I want in my life next year:

Pleasure of the flesh

  • Monthly massages.
  • Schedule a facial for February.
  • Plan for sexy evenings—tell my partner what I envision and ask him to participate in ‘my’ pleasure plan (note that I’m not leaving this to chance).
  • Go shopping for a new corset or bustier.
  • Swim more—I love the way my body feels in the water and after I’ve finished my laps.
  • Lots of kissing.
  • Make love on the back deck on a hot steamy summer afternoon.
  • Experiment with sex toys to increase my body’s responsiveness.


Sensuous Experiences

  • Start eating with intention—adding color and richness to my meals. Create a pretty plate and eat at the dining room table.
  • Indulge in high thread count sheets for my bed.
  • Watercolor classes.
  • Buy flowers.
  • Take walks.
  • Read stimulating books, erotic and intellectual.
  • Light candles.

Some of the elements of my pleasure plan involve changes in habits. Others are about taking up new hobbies or activities. Some—pure indulgences. All are designed to provide me pleasure.

Pleasure is not a naughty word.

As mothers, caregivers, grandmothers, single women or partners we need individual moments of pleasure to keep us going. They stoke the fire; they give us the energy to participate in a full life.

Feeling good about ourselves—however that manifests for you—helps us feel more vibrant and sexier. There are several components to a good pleasure plan. They include the physical and the emotional. Get the blood flowing, the skin tingly, the senses engaged and you will feel the sexual energy flowing through your body. Don’t forget the mind.  Incorporate pleasures that engage you mentally—whether it’s explicitly sexual or a more overall sensuous feeling.

There are no limits to where and how we find pleasure in our lives. The key is to be intentional. Look for opportunities to connect, explore, and be open to new experiences. Stand in front of the sink in your panties and eat a juicy mango, letting the sweet juices drip down your breasts. Imagine a lover licking those juices from you. Dress in your sexiest lingerie and admire your curves. Feel the sexiness. Feel the decadence of wrapping yourself in soft pleasing textures.

Open yourself to the pleasure that awaits when you bring yourself into awareness. It’s there, just waiting for you. Embrace it.

Article first published on Better After 50

Image from Morguefile:

  • Julie Phelps
    Posted at 08:29h, 31 March Reply

    Walker, your lists are wonderful suggestions or guides – and I hope we all follow your lead as a way to enhance your lives and go through our days with big smiles.
    Most of us, by our middle years, have put the needs of others before our own. We often need a kick in the rear to tend to ourselves first – at least most of the time.
    You might just be the catalyst to important personal changes and growth for many.

    • Walker
      Posted at 09:43h, 31 March Reply

      Julie, I’d love to become a catalyst for change for midlife women-whether it’s directly about sexuality or embracing our own sense of pleasure in the world. Thank you for being so supportive!

  • Brian Buchbinder
    Posted at 07:50h, 01 April Reply

    Kissing!!!! More!!! One of the very best ways I know of to pursue an attraction in a safe way, one that’s open to seeing what might be there is to offer a time-limited (5-10) minutes kissing date. It might just be me, but making out has always been my favorite on the menu of delights. You can find out a lot about someone’s physicality, and the nature of an attraction by the way you kiss together.

    • Walker
      Posted at 08:09h, 01 April Reply

      Oh! Yes. I’ve written about the art of kissing before. I think the ability to kiss well is a good indicator of a person’s sensuousness. A kissing date-love that idea. I have to admit that on first dates I usually want to kiss–get the ‘discomfort’ out of the way and see how that bit of compatibility is going to be. Brilliant idea.

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