17 Feb Looking for a Relationship When You’re Over 60
Today’s question is from Maggie- I am a 68 year old woman with the sexual desires of a 21 year old. Where does a 68 y/o meet men? I have been in small male/female scenarios and I actually can/do attract men much less my age. I am taken for early 50’s. Where does one go to meet gentlemen? I can obviously ‘pick up’ men, even young men in sleazy bars for one-night stands, but I’m looking for a long-term relationship including sex. Marriage can be negotiable. Any great ideas?
Thanks for your question and your honesty about your situation. You indicate that you’re looking for two things here–sex and a long-term relationship. It’s great to hear from older women with a healthy sex drive and a desire to have great sex! It can sometimes feel as if looking for younger men is the best way to get needs met. There’s nothing wrong with going out with younger men, though I do know men in their 60s who are sexually active and eager to have a relationship with a woman who wants an active sex life.
Unfortunately I don’t have any great ideas for how to find a man. I wish I did, but there is no magic solution. Part of the process requires you getting out and making yourself visible and available. Have you let your friends know you’re looking for a relationship? We’re often reluctant to do that, but it’s no different from telling someone you’re looking for a job or a new house. Let people know that you’d like to find someone and enlist their help.
Church, wine tasting groups, book clubs, volunteering, outdoor fitness groups, going to the gym, signing up to help with political campaigns, going to the local senior center, or taking classes through an elder hostel are all places to find interesting men. I’ve talked to women who have met men in online groups on Facebook and other forums. And, while you mentioned sleazy bars (and I am right there with you) there are upscale bars where you might go have a drink occasionally and hope to meet a nice man.
It’s not easy meeting someone today. There are dating sites like okCupid, Match, eHarmony, Our Time and others which are specific to interests, religion or age groups. And there are sites for people who mainly want sexual activity like AdultFriendfinders.com. Putting yourself out there with a public profile may feel awkward but it does increase your exposure to men who are seeking a woman just like you.
There will be people who will say to you, just be open to meeting the right man and it will just happen–like he’ll fall out of the skies! I’m not sure about that. You sound like you get out and have friendships but haven’t found that right person yet, so you may need to consciously put yourself out there.
Here is a link to articles on online dating if you need some help getting started.
Anyone else have some suggestions for Maggie? (not her real name)