Choose the Right Lubricant for Your Midlife Needs

Choose the Right Lubricant for Your Midlife Needs

postmenopause, vaginal dryness, vaginal lubricant, lubes, sexuality, I was contacted by a woman recently seeking my advice on lubes and vibrators. I’ll do a Q&A post later this week addressing her questions but I wanted to talk about buying lubricants separately.  I chose Good Vibrations for my lube review because they have a nice variety of products and a great article in their how-to section with everything you need to know on How to Choose a Lubricant.

Choosing a lubricant is more complicated than you might think, not just any lubricant will do—particularly if you plan to use it with sex toys. Sure you could go to the grocery store and just buy some K-Y Jelly, but here’s what you’ll get : “Water, Glycerin, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Chlorhexidine Gluconate, Gluconolactone, Methylparaben, Sodium Hydroxide”. Sodium Hydroxide is commonly known as Lye or Caustic Acid. Yikes! Use the product on your most sensitive skin and your body is absorbing all of those unpronounceable Chemicals. Chlorhexidine Gluconate is an antiseptic. Also not needed in your vagina or elsewhere. (Source)

Let’s back up and talk about why you might want to use a lubricant. Have you ever had a massage on dry skin? Know how uncomfortable it is to feel the tug of their hands on your bare skin? Massage oils allow the hands to glide over body parts. A good oil or lubricant eliminates the friction that can range from uncomfortable to painful. Lube also helps if your body’s natural lube isn’t as plentiful as in the past. The labia, clitoris and skin in the genital area are tender and deserve loving care. At any age, lube allows fingers, body parts and sex toys to glide across your skin. For older women who may have the thinning skin that comes after menopause with the depletion of hormones, the least bit of friction can cause discomfort. A lubricant will help eliminate or reduce that discomfort.

You can use the lube on your hands, sex toys and other body parts, but you need to be careful about which lubricant you pick. If your sex toy is made of silicone then a silicone based lubricant can damage the toy!  Oil-based lubes should not be used with latex condoms or products.

It’s worth the time and effort and expense to buy a quality lubricant that is safe for your body. Some women have sensitive skin or allergies and have a reaction to scented lubricants or other additives, so you might want to consider an organic product like Sliquid or GoodCleanLove.

Please, a line of lubricants developed by the people at Good Vibrations, comes in cream, silicone, liquid and water-based gel versions. I tried the water-based gel and the cream lubes to do a comparison. The cream version is very nice and seemed to last longer than the water-based gel. Neither had much of an odor or taste and would be fine for oral sex. The Please cream lube does contain some silicone but the description indicates that it is safe for use with silicone-based toys.

The Pink silicone lubricant was very nice, no taste at all! But as is common with all silicone products, it required a little more soap and water effort to clean up.

lubricants, silicone sex toysGood Vibrations sent me a small glass vial of uberlube, a silicone product that felt less sticky than some of the others. Gorgeous bottle and presentation!

If you buy a quality lubricant you really can’t go wrong. And if your main purpose will be for use during sex without condoms or sex toys then use anything you want. I love using organic coconut oil I buy at the grocery store. And, then as you branch out, buy a few different products and see which you like the most. But, I urge you to use a lube for self-pleasuring and couples sex–it will make so much difference.

Have a favorite you’d like to recommend?


Here are more articles on lubricants for your reading pleasure:

  • Bobbie Morgan
    Posted at 07:58h, 22 July Reply

    Great recommendations! I love articles like this because there are so many lubricants on the market and some of them don’t live up to their marketing hype and reputations.

    Based on some research I’m doing for an upcoming article I’m doing on lubricants, I’ve found products that include vitamin E, aloe vera and/or hemp seed oil are great agents in actual performance and leave skin feeling amazingly soft long after they’re worked into the skin.

    • Walker
      Posted at 08:12h, 22 July Reply

      Thanks Bobbie, I saw that you were going to do a review as well. There are so very many products that it can be confusing. Love your thoughts about skin care woven in as well….

  • Carol Cassara
    Posted at 10:47h, 22 July Reply

    Coconut oil. Say more!

    • Walker
      Posted at 08:05h, 23 July Reply

      Well, coconut oil is safe to use if you’re not using it on latex condoms. I find it just the right amount of creamy and not too sticky. It’s all natural and safe to use internally as well…taste is fine too. Some people put it in spray or squirt bottles that they warm up. I scoop out a tiny bit and put in a small bowl for bedroom use. It comes to the right temperature very quickly. When I worked with a sexological bodyworker last fall he used it and that’s what convinced me.

  • Kathy @ SMART Living
    Posted at 12:25h, 22 July Reply

    Thank you Walker for providing such valuable resources for us all. It’s VERY NICE to have someone you know and trust to give you the straight story on this VERY important topic 🙂

    • Walker
      Posted at 08:07h, 23 July Reply

      Thanks Kathy. There are lots of great resources out there but sometimes it’s a matter of searching. I think it becomes much more important now that aging skin needs a little extra conditioning, but really? All sex and touch is greatly enhanced with the use of a lubricant–something you don’t fully know until you’ve tried it and see/feel the difference.

  • Q&A- My Doctor Recommends a Vibrator, What Should I Choose? - Walker Thornton
    Posted at 06:04h, 29 July Reply

    […] ← Choose the Right Lubricant for Your Midlife Needs […]

  • Kimberly
    Posted at 15:58h, 26 July Reply

    My super sensitive skin: Personally I trust & love Aloe Cadabra. Have you tried it?
    It’s FDA cleared & NSF organic; not to mention it’s packed with Aloe Vera. Something like 95% of what’s in the bottle is Organic Aloe. I get it online.

    • Walker
      Posted at 11:45h, 30 July Reply

      Thanks for sharing Kimberly. I deleted your link because this isn’t a forum for sharing links-particularly if the goal seems to be selling products.

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