I believe women want to be free to age on their own terms.

 

I believe it’s time for older women to ignore conventional wisdom and stop feeling boxed in by cultural expectations. 

 

I believe sexual desire increases when we allow ourselves to seek desire in all aspects of our lives.

 

I believe we have to let ourselves go in order to find ourselves.  

 

I believe we are obligated to no one in how we age, how we show up, or how we present ourselves to the world. 

 

For the first 45 years of my life I felt compelled to be the good Southern girl. It meant playing along, being silent at times and making myself small.

 

I was afraid to put my needs first. I feared people would disapprove and criticize me for taking care of myself. They did.

 

I survived.

I’ve survived a lot in my life: an alcoholic father; his death when I was 17; my husband’s protracted illness and our divorce; getting a Master’s, running for office and starting a nonprofit raising two children, and running countless businesses; caregiving an aging parent. I’ve reinvented myself according to my own desires, in the face of all the stories we hear as women: that we’re not enough, that everyone else’s needs come first, that we have to make ourselves smaller to make those around us feel more comfortable; that we have to fit the roles prescribed for us or die trying.

 

On my sixtieth birthday I staked my claim to being an independent woman capable of taking on the world alone. As a person stepping into a new way of life, knowing I no longer needed permission or approval. With risks and messiness and loneliness accompanying joy and sensuous pleasures. On my terms. 

 

I’m dedicated to helping other older women discover and claim their desires. To helping them create new paradigms for aging, sex, self-love and showing up. To tapping into the exquisite freedom that comes from giving up “traditional” notions of how women are supposed to show up—and finally defining life on our own terms.

 

When we tap into this power—when we own our age, and our desires—we are unstoppable.

 

Now is the time to “let ourselves go.” Go gray. Go exploring. Go wild, go inwards, go creative, go deep.

 

To me, being one of those women who “lets herself go” means being a woman who no longer lives by what society expects of me. Being a woman who’s tapped into my desire, and who uses it to chart my path. 

 

I’m becoming one of those women.  And I invite you to join me on the journey.