- Eeeeew….Old people having sex. That’s gross.
- Sex is only for procreation.
- Sex is dirty.
- Men love sex, women don’t.
- Sex hurts.
- After menopause sex hurts.
- Women lose their sex drive when they hit age________
- If you can’t orgasm during intercourse there must be something wrong with you.
- Only pretty women have sex.
- Why can’t you do that? All the women in porn films do it.
- Women hate blowjobs.
- Women only have sex when they want something from a man.
- I don’t want to have sex but I will if you’ll leave me alone.
- If you loved me you would.
- We didn’t have sex, I just gave him a BJ.
- Sex is for marriage.
- When 2 women (or 2 men) have sex it’s a sin.
- I don’t need a condom. Men my age don’t get HIV.
- Trust me…..
- My boyfriend won’t go down on me.
- I’ve never had an orgasm.
- My husband doesn’t want me anymore.
- I must not be normal because ‘it’ doesn’t feel good.
- He’s got erectile dysfunction–we can’t have sex.
- I have no desire for sex.
- He doesn’t know how to make me come.
- I can’t talk about sex with my boyfriend.
- I can’t talk about sex with my husband.
- I can’t talk about sex with my doctor.
- I think oral sex is disgusting.
- Only perverts use sex toys.
- I don’t want anyone to see my body.
- My husband/wife is having an affair.
- My penis is too small for sex.
- I was abused as a child.
- My partner’s addicted to porn–he doesn’t want me anymore.
- My clit hurts if you touch it.
- I’ve never masturbated.
- I don’t think he’ll like the way I look down there.
- My mother told me sex was bad.
- Should I worry if I have an odor?
- I like naughty things but can’t tell anyone.
- My partner wants to use toys on me and I’m afraid to say yes.
- I can only get off when……..
- I’ve had a mastectomy, will men still find me attractive?
- I’m afraid I’ll get pregnant.
- I don’t want to touch his penis.
- I’m afraid he’ll have a heart attack.
- He wants to use Viagra, I said no.
- I don’t understand my own sexuality. Who will help me?
Fifty reasons we have to talk about sex. Among ourselves, with our doctors, to our partners, our children.
When we’re afraid to have healthy, appropriate discussions about sex we are denying who we are as sexual beings. Human beings.
There is nothing to fear in talking about healthy sexuality. Who are you going to talk to?
I’m listening.
I’ve been with my husband for 25 years and we still talk about sex and what we do and don’t like, what’s working and what’s not, what we might like to try, and any related issues. And as perimenopause has messed with my hormones, my husband and I have talked about that too, plus I had an honest conversation with my doctor, who had some helpful ideas. Sex is not something that should be swept under a rug and ignored.
Jen, I think you and your husband are the exception rather than the rule? Who knows…
It’s wonderful to hear positive examples of good healthy conversation.
You covered just about everything! It will be interesting to see who responds.
Jane-those are the ones that just quickly popped out. I’m sure the list could go on and on!
Wow – this is a pretty powerful list. Now the conversation begins? Talk to us about all of these, Walker!
Ah, Sharon- I will. Many of these are questions I think we can, and need to, talk about. I’d love to see our peer group join in this conversation–thank you for the nudge and the support.
Ha! Who don’t I talk to about sex? My friends call it my superpower. Even if I act like a nun, people talk about sex when I’m around. It’s one of the most powerful human drives. It deserves to be talked about.
Great list!
Reticula,
Thanks. Sex is a powerful drive and it’s important to our lives. Glad to hear that people feel they can talk about it in your presence.
I think there’s a lot of talk about sex, but not nearly enough about intimacy. Just my opinion.
Linda, I agree that we need to talk about and focus on intimacy–but at the most basic level if women don’t know how to talk about their sexual needs or experience discomfort with their sexuality then intimacy isn’t the starting place. Embracing one’s sexuality, understanding the importance of sexual health and learning to talk about what you want has to come first. Then a woman or man has the foundation that allows her to seek intimacy and make informed choices.
There is so much to talk about. I am encouraged that the conversation is opening up, misinformation is getting dispelled and women are saying what they want. There is so much good, pleasure and fun that is available from telling the truth. Thank you for bringing to light more reasons to keep talking to each other about sex.
Yvonne, I think it’s opening slowly. There are sites like yours that bring together people in deep conversation about orgasm and pleasure and intimacy. And, yet there are still people who aren’t sure where to turn or how to start–I hope to be able to help some of those women.