Sex toys. How many of us have them? I’m not sure that any researcher has investigated that number. I’d wager that a good number of women, of all ages, have at least one sex toy. Recently, my good friend shared the story of her 75-year-old+ mother, on her deathbed, telling her where the vibrator was stored!
Vibrators were created in the 1800’s to help cure women of hysteria and paroxysms. Manipulation or other types of stimulation were thought to draw out the ‘evil’ from a woman. Doctors were often reluctant to actually ‘manipulate’ their patients and resorted to water treatment and then to scary sounding devices which vibrated the woman’s genitals.
This quote is from The History of Vibrators: “And masturbation (by either sex) was regarded as wrong. It was not only a moral affront but something that was thought of as constitutionally dangerous, enfeebling mind and body. “Women [with hysteria] should not resort to rubbing,” said Avicenna, the Muslim scholar and founder of early modern medicine. It was, he advised, “a man’s job, suitable only for husbands and doctors”. “
The first vibrator for home use was developed around 1909. Now we are allowed to masturbate in the privacy of our own homes, whenever, however, and with anyone we want. Times have changed and so have vibrators.
I think of vibrators and other sex toys as multi-purpose tools for an enhanced sex life. Sex therapists suggest the use of vibrators for women who have difficulty experiencing orgasms. Learning one’s own pleasure spots and how to bring yourself to orgasm is important for women. Whether as personal sexual release for women who are not in a relationship, for women to share a broader sexual experience with a partner, or to satisfy needs when that partner isn’t available or in the mood, sex toys are a great tool and toy.
What to buy is always a big dilemma. If you go into a large warehouse type sex shop you will be overwhelmed with choices and settling on a particular item can be difficult. For newbies I’d suggest finding a small shop where you can talk to the salesperson and get some real advice. Or visiting an online sex toy website where you explore, read reviews and contemplate in the privacy of your own home. You might even invite a partner to make the purchase with you. I like Good Vibrations and I’m now an affiliate of their site. (and in the spirit of full disclosure if you buy, I get a small percentage)
An online site can be a tad overwhelming as well, so you should think about what you’re interested in before you go online. Good Vibrations has categories; for women, for couples, dildos, sex toys, etc. You can narrow down your options and they offer customer reviews so you can get a sense of how the toy works. Some of my favorites are listed here.
Even if you think you’re not in the market for a sex toy, consider the benefits to having a little more pleasure in your life. We all have times when a little stress relief or relaxation is just what the Doctor ordered. You deserve it.
For more on sex toys, read A Vibrator Primer