Women make up them majority of caregivers, taking on the responsibility of providing for aging parents. The nature of caregiving is an added stress, emotionally and often financially, for women who may still have children at home as well as careers and relationships to nurture.

We know it’s coming; our parents are growing older and will need help to stay independent. Yet, most of us don’t think about caregiving until we’re faced with it. The best thing we can do to prepare for our role as caregivers is to equip ourselves with information about aging and the newest technology that might help us keep loved ones safe. Reading about aging and specific illnesses, learning about available resources in the community and talking about the future with parents and siblings are all important things we can do.
In a recent survey conducted by VTech® Communications, caregivers and seniors were asked a variety of questions relating to aging and living independently. With over 91% of all seniors indicating that they spend time alone during the week the questions about safety for seniors take on an increased significance. Seniors reporting missing an active social life, while caregivers express more concern about the time when a senior is alone. What we worry about:
- Fall or injury (76.1 percent of caregivers and 33 percent of seniors)
- Medical event or injury requiring immediate assistance (60.8 percent of caregivers and 25.2 percent of seniors)
- Other general problems that seniors wouldn’t feel equipped to deal with alone (45.9 percent of caregivers and 14 percent of seniors)
This reflects my personal experience, both as a caregiver and from my time working for an aging in place agency. We tend to be more worried about safety issues than our parents. Not that we’re being unrealistic, but often seniors don’t see the reality of their situation and are reluctant to ask for help. Pride, a desire to remain in their home and, for some, diminished intellectual capacity are at play. It’s emotionally draining to be ever-vigilant and trying to convince a parent to make changes can result in tensions.
What do we do to achieve some peace of mind for both parties?
We have to learn to change our communications with our parents. Trying to put ourselves in their shoes, using empathy and finding a way to express concerns in a way that values and respects their autonomy. We need to look for practical answers for making home safer, by introducing safety aids and doing a comprehensive review of the home
One simple tool that can provide some peace of mind is a new phone designed specifically for this population. VTech, a maker of telecommunications products, has recently released the CareLine™ Home Safety Telephone System as a tool for helping seniors maintain an independent lifestyle. The product is a phone system that can be purchased with a wearable pendant. It’s more than just a phone, as you can program it with often-called numbers, add messages for the parent such as reminders of when to take medicines.
I like the idea of this phone as something a senior can use before they begin to experience issues associated with aging. The phone has large numbers, and can be programmed for 4 commonly used phone numbers with corresponding photos. The pendant can be added when concerns begin to grow as a parent’s mobility decreases. It seems like a tool that gives caregivers some peace of mind while preserving the dignity of an aging parent who isn’t ready for more drastic changes.
If you’re facing the role of caregiver for an aging parent, it’s not too early to begin learning about what’s available on the market and what you can do as the designated caregiver to make this easier. For both of you.
Are you already involved in caregiving? What are some of your biggest concerns?
My Disclaimer: As a caregiver myself, I occasionally participate in campaigns directed at providing advice, book reviews and products that support our work as caring for the people in our lives. I will never promote something I wouldn’t support personally. I wrote this blog post while participating in a campaign by BOOMboxNetwork.com on behalf VTech Communications, Inc. and received payment for my participation. All opinions stated within are my own.





That vigilance you speak of can, indeed, be depleting. Not only emotionally, but financially. And for many of course they’re dealing with teenagers or young adults as these caregiving stresses are beginning to press.
This sounds like a smart product. Practical.
Also smart – your recommendation to think about these issues before an older loved one is compromised in ways that makes learning difficult.
It does indeed. I’m going to be testing it out with my mother soon.
I’ve learned, the hard way, that it requires time and energy to deal with caregiving issues. The emergencies throw one into a bit of a tailspin, no matter how prepared we think we are.
My father developed some health issues towards the end of his life. After my mother died and he started living on his own, he wisely got himself a similar phone service called LifeLine. He always wore his emergency pendant. I trust I will be as wise as my father if and when the time comes so I can properly deal with whatever issues I may have. (“properly deal” may equal moving into “assisted living”) While I appreciate the support of my family, I recognise that I myself must do what’s necessary to remain somewhat independent and take care of myself.
William, you’re right about taking care of ourselves. And, maybe we are the generation that will move into old age with more realistic expectations? Certainly we’ll be more tech-savvy and willing to try these things out.
Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts on this.
The CareLine seems very practical. I think that technology can make care-giving much easier if we embrace it. But either way, all caregivers have their own set of problems, issues and concerns that they have to deal with…
Ellen, I think you’re right… as we embrace the new technology it should be easier for us. Our parents? Not so sure. Like you said, each case is unique, tempered by personality, the parent-adult child relationship and the illness or problem.
What a relief that technology is giving us ways to prevent many disasters. Thank you for bringing this subject to light.
Helen,
Thank you. I do think technology is making it easier for us to assist aging loved ones…though nothing beats being close and checking in.
This hits home with me right now, as you know. And I’m not surprised by the survey results, for all the reasons you suggested. This phone sounds great!
I know you do. And, I know you’ve experienced the challenges and the delights. It’s tough, but we manage…don’t we?
Thanks for commenting.
Living so long is a blessing and a curse. This communication system looks great. We had my Mother on LifeLine wearing the pendant. It gave us all peace of mind.
Haralee,
Isn’t peace of mind what we need? I think this system offers another reasonable alternative to helping when we just can’t be there.
Thanks for your input.
Walker,
This is such an important topic to discuss and I am glad you did, and did it thoughtfully and intelligently. As a person with a disability with two aging parents (and a certificate in patient advocacy) these issues are always on my mind. My dad had a stroke 11 years ago and is now 85; mom has her smaller issues but being 81 and a caregiver is not easy. I try to spend as much time with them as I can, yet they do try to be as independent as possible. It’s important to know when to step in and when to step back. It’s equally important to have the difficult conversations about their wishes both now and later on.
I forced my dad to wear the necklace that is hooked up to the CareLine Telephone System and it works beautifully. I try to walk in their shoes, as you said, all of the time.
You are so right; it’s the women who take care of our parents. My brothers would be there if something “big” happened, but I am there for the day-to-day issues and I don’t involve my brothers.
I love my parents, and have lost 2 beloved people (their age) in the last few months and it has been difficult on us all. I am trying to see my parents even more than before, and I try to spoil them a little more as well.
Thanks again, Walker. You really hit home on this one.
Cathy,
Thank you, it means a lot to hear that kind of compliment from someone with your experience.
My brothers have offered to assist, but they’re far away, I’m just down the road. And, I’m the executor, power of attorney, etc. The challenges are many, including a less than ideal relationship. But we do what is expected of us and we do ‘the right thing’.
One of the biggest pluses to this whole situation is that I am seeing the need to take care of myself.
I am here for you, my friend, if you ever have a question or need a good, solid ear to lean on.
Thank you. I’m so very bad at asking for help….. But know that I can call on you if I need, and that’s nice to know.
Great idea. I’m just beginning that phase in my mother’s life. It is tough. I appreciate you sharing this and any other ideas, paving the way for those of us just beginning.
Thanks Lisa. I am a big believer in sharing… we can support each other in this! Hoping things go well with your mother.
I read about aging all of the time (as a student of gerontology), and now I’m trying to remember where I read this information: older adults tend to overestimate their health, and their doctors/nurses tend to underestimate it. I think adult children probably also underestimate it. So the truth is probably some happy medium in between. I also like this phone system because it can be adopted before mobility problems set in, so it’s a familiar item in the home prior to really needing it. Thank you for the review! KDA
Thanks for sharing that Karen, would like to know where you found it as well. Have you read the book by Mark Lachs on aging? He has an interesting perspective on how physicians treat the elderly.
Thanks for the book rec. I just added it to my Goodreads account. I have 58 books on my “aging” shelf, but I haven’t run across this one by Lachs. It looks good!
What I like about the book is his easy-to-read, logical approach. I have thought about getting a copy of all of my siblings!
At barely 38 I found myself as the caregiver for my elderly grandmother. While I looked at this as more than just a “responsibility” {I LOVED her so much}, it was a daunting job that I had NO experience with, let alone resources to turn to. I was fairly new to the internet and lived in a secluded area at the time. The info you have here would have been so helpful to me so I am glad to share this with others.
Once things settled a bit, we realized that Gramma needed way more assistance/attention than I could give her. We moved her into as assisted living facility and one thing that gave her much security was her telephone. It was not exactly like this one….no pendant needed as there was 24 hour nursing care. But she needed to know she could call me at ANY time. We programmed all the grands phone numbers and with the large buttons {and cataract surgery :0)!} she was able to see them options clearly.
Another tool we purchased for her was a “Presto” machine.
http://www.presto.com/
This gave her an email addy that was just at scheduled intervals. With this, she received notes as well as photos throughout the week from my brother and sister than lived three states away. It was worth every penny {about $100 for the unit and $9 a month for delivery}.
Well, Donna it sounds like you had some great ideas. As you note it is tough and even when you think you’re prepared…you aren’t. It’s all the bits and pieces, emotional, making decisions, being an advocate. Love the idea of the Presto machine..thanks for sharing.
You cannot have enough resources, knowledge or friends as a caregiver. This phone offers some feeling of security.
Patricia,
I totally agree. Thank you for this.