Five million books on how to get your shit together. Every day 100 more hit the store shelves. Bloggers making a living by convincing you they can get you back on track! Everywhere you look–reinvent, transform, go deeper.
Of course I exaggerate. Creative license.
But, my head is spinning.
The perennial, “What do you do?” What are you doing with your life?
Hard to explain that you’re a freelance writer–getting paid by word count. Is it a rewarding living? Hard to answer that. Satisfying? Writing is what I love but the act of writing for money often keeps me from writing what I want to write. Door slams. Prospective customer walking away.
Or so I would have me believe.
My theme this year is about Going Deeper and looking at the questions we need to ask in our lives. An article I read this morning by Erika Napoletano triggered some deep thinking! She’s a great, kick-ass, in your face writer, in case you don’t know her. And, you should.
Her most recent article, Where Do I Begin? has this 58-year-old thinking she needs to start over. Again.
Do I do what I should do or do I do what my heart tells me to do?
Erika’s question is the question we all need to ask ourselves. Often.
The heart knows. When we start getting all logical and Adult-like, we are often disconnecting from our heart and our body. The brain is a great thing as is thinking, I’m not knocking rational thought. It keeps us from stepping off the cliff or telling our boss to F— Off. But, it’s the body, the heart, the breath that have the power to truly lead us.
How does one begin? Where to start?
Me? I got out the big pad and the marker and starting writing. Black for the Vision. Red for more ‘how I want to feel’ stuff.
The feelings are where I think the focus should be. What do I do with my life that will generate these feelings? It’s a fill-in-the-blank: What will make me feel ____________?
In my case the list includes: 
Bloggers and writers come in different flavors. There are the Niche writers and the I-can-write-about-it-all folks. I’m not sure we can really write about everything, successfully. I know my focus has been…unfocused. I’ve been trying to write a little of everything and it’s challenging. The problem is was that I have been reluctant to step up and step out. To write about the things that hold the most interest for me.
Can one make a living writing about vaginas and sexual health? About a woman’s ability to have an orgasm as not just sexual satisfaction but as deep energetic connections with partner, creativity and the universe? About older women as vital forces in their own right?
I’ve been writing small here and trying to make a bigger, dollar-driven splash writing about….anything someone wanted to pay me to write.
Visualize the Pause button here.
Forehead=>Table
This is the answer. If it’s that simple. Watch it. And, if you don’t love Ze Frank, I’ll give you your money back.
Your turn! Is what you’re doing today going to make you feel the way you want to feel about yourself and your life?
I love this post and you got my mojo started this morning! You and Ze Frank make a great team, Walker.
Doing what we should do (which will help pay the bills) and what we want to do is an ongoing question in my mind. How do you turn down paid offers to write when you really want to spend time writing about what you passionately care about?
I guess we’ve come a long way from our parents who basically did what they had to do to put food on the table, even if they hated their jobs. At least we have a little luxury to do a little of what we love as compared to only what we should.
We have come a long way from our parents’ generation, haven’t we. And, sometimes we have to compromise in order to pay the mortgage.
For me, the answer is to seek out paid work in the area that truly appeals to me–being selective and more focused. As a beginning step. Build authority, hone my skills and find connections with people doing similar work.
There is a power in this post I have not “heard” for a while. ZeFrank video- brilliant!
Biggest challenge for most folks is letting go of the idea that the way it was will be the way it is in the imagined future. Second biggest challenge – taking the next step.
Yes. I love Ze Frank–and this particular video resonates for me. Probably played it over 6 times in the last couple of days.
(Most) People our age were raised in the traditional model of finding a career and sticking with it for a long long time. It’s hard to let go of old ways and the security of money, office, retirement–whatever–to pursue something that goes against tradition. It’s difficult at each step of the way…but as you say, taking the first steps is the biggie!
I agree with Swanlady: there’s a power in this post that I don’t think I’ve heard before. You’re on to something.
Jane,
Thank you. It was a pretty energized day! And, getting back to the writing I enjoy feels good.
Love, love, love! And then I loved this some more.
Today I’m continuing my journey through 27 years of accumulated stuff and crap, packing up what I love and tossing out what I don’t. From this moment forward, I refuse to be a slave to a house or material things for one more stinking minute. Let me remember that I wrote that here on this comment to this post when I get scared and want to be a slave again because sometimes slavery feels so safe.
Chloe! Love it when something hits home and deeply resonates. The Ah-ha moment for me was similar–all the crap I’m doing, listening to, paying lipservice to because it feels expected. It can be pretty liberating to discard the crap.
Wow! Loved this, but then I love new beginnings, starting over, fresh slates. My hubs calls me a serial change artist
Joining the Gen Fab sisterhood was a result of my “starting over” in my blogging. You and the others there are such fierce examples of how to do it. I have no doubt you’ll write deeper into your niche, and get great satisfaction (and readership) from it! You go girl!
Oh! Thank you…. so glad you liked this. Me too. The Gen Fab group is a pretty amazing group of women. Nice to get a chance to meet you.
You spoke right to my struggle this week … and it’s only Tuesday. Yesterday I lost a book editing job (which is something I love to do) because I spent too much time with my granddaughter and my kids over the weekend. Somebody else beat me to the job, although the book author said he would rather have hired me. Sigh. I love both — spending time with my kids and granddaughter and the writing and editing work I do. Sometimes trying to find the balance feels like falling off my bike though.
One thing that keeps me standing on my pedals is the monthly writer’s bootcamps I’ve been holding here at my house. Eight women writing for 6 hours, with short breaks, lunch together, and sharing at the end. We set goals and hold each other accountable, at least for that day. The discipline feels invigorating; I’m inspired for days after. I wish I had it every day.
Last night I wrote about vaginas. Tonight I will babysit my granddaughter, and if I have time after, I’ll write about something else … or maybe vaginas again. It’s winter here in the midwest, so my bike — my actual physical bike — is balanced on a trainer. I can ride it and it won’t tip over. My goal at this point is to just keep peddling.
It is a challenge following our passions and our ‘necessities’. I love the sound of your bootcamp–what a great idea.
Keep peddling is a good metaphor.
Fabulous post that hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Life is too short to not to work at things you don’t love, but for most people the rent also has to get paid. My writing life doesn’t need to be paid at the moment, so I have the luxury to continue to finish up my second novel( 1st not published), as well as try to develop an author’s platform with my blog. But like you alluded to, how much should I focus? Trying to reach everyone won’t work, but I wonder if niche writing also narrows one’s focus too much. My blog touches on the writing process and books and authors. But frankly most people who read it are other writers &/or bloggers. So who am I really reaching in terms of building an audience?
I love every aspect of writing my novel, and perhaps that’s where I should put all my energy, but feel an eternal pressure to have things in place for the next step i.e being published.
I loved the video & the final line to me says it all “Life isn’t just a sequence of things waiting to be done.”
Thank you so much for the post. Your optimism and passion is infectious. Time to re-think & re-charge.
Thank you A.K., I’m so glad to be able to spark a little passion. I hear your challenge-defining and reaching the right audience.
I understand the struggle. I have no answers. As usual, however, the questions seem unending.
But survival is survival. We make choices. And some are made for us. But that’s fluid, and remembering that it’s fluid is part of the challenge.
D. A. , we do make choices–sometimes of necessity and sometimes w/ a clear vision of what we want. It is a challenge.
Thanks for your comment.
For me, not getting bogged down in a tangle of details is the only way I can “begin” anything be it a blog post or a new project at the day job. I needed to read this today, thanks for helping me to begin my day again with a less cluttered mind.
Any time! I let the details get in my way–and often I get too caught up in social media!
Thanks for stopping in at A Woman’s Page.